Drain the water, wash the gravel, clean the glass

Kimberly the angelfish

Bob the beta

Neon tetras and a tiny frog 

A suckerfish and a snail for the algae

Sooner or later they all grew listless and pale

Their fins deteriorating, lolling on the white gravel

Waiting for the others to take a bite.

A watery Dachau squatting in the breakfast nook

New horrors to confront every morning

The house gathered corpses

So I grew psychic blinders and carefully looked away.

Responsibility, once relinquished

Is easier to leave on the ground 

Like a forgotten stuffed animal

Walk away and don’t look back and 

Pretend it’s not yours.

But they were just the beginning

Don’t answer that email

Don’t look in the mirror

Don’t think about that cruel thing you said, 

That unforgivable thing you did

Keep those fetid things carefully filed away

Only to be pulled out on occasion

With great care and reverence

A treasure chest of shame.

Poaching myself in discomfort

In the hope that I'll emerge healed.

I’ll never have pets again

But they come to me in my dreams

Walls of tanks of forgotten fish

Silently reproaching me for my failure.

One of these days I’ll steel myself and look inside

Carefully tend to their small bodies

Drain the water, wash the gravel, clean the glass

Beg for forgiveness.